would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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