If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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