everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
it's great music for shaving your balls
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
