Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
