If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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