whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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