The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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