My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
