Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
