this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
