have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
