I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
