I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
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