omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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