So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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