anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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