I saw his package. It spoke to me.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
