He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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