And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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