I can tuck mytits in my pants
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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