party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
