He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
