so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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