I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
