If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
