my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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