u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
