You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
did i walk over a car last night?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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