Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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