Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
