i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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