I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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