Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
