you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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