Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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