Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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