maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
