im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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