What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
