i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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