I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
