Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
