Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
