Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
