I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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