i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
