AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
