How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
