East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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