Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
