Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
