How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize