Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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