I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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