: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
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