make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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