Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
