Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
