your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
