And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
