big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize