Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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