He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
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