Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
