Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
