I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
